2018

Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy


Deconstructing Jealousy

MULTIAMORY (Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren).


Jealousy is a fundamentally complex emotion. The term “jealousy” itself gives us a clue as to the circumstances surrounding the emotion. The various dictionary definitions of the word have a common through-line: someone else has something that you want, or is threatening to take away something that you have. But the term itself doesn’t reveal what’s actually going on below the surface in any given individual. 


There are many inroads to jealousy, and every individual can be triggered by totally unique circumstances that may link back to childhood memories, trauma from past relationships, or any number of strange quirks embedded in one’s emotional makeup. However, the most common hang-ups that trigger jealousy are comparisons, competition, fear, and loss of control. 

The Multiamory crew will be examining each of these triggers. We'll also be discussing common solutions to jealousy that usually don't solve anything, as well as exploring alternative methods for resetting in moments when jealousy arises.